There is a difference between conversation and communication. Communication is transactional and can often be abrupt and impersonal — like a text, email or social media post.
Communication is often characterized by a lack of empathy or real human connection. For example, it is easy to say or write something in an email, text or post that should never be said to someone’s face or in a larger gathering. The lack of personal connection produced by electronic media can easily lead to simplifying or dehumanizing others.
In contrast great conversations almost always occur in person, face to face. So much of connecting as human beings involves sharing an experience and picking up on non-verbal cues. What are people wearing and in what setting did the conversation occur? What was one’s body language, subtle facial expressions and timing? What emotions were being transmitted?
This is what artist Marina Abramovic was silently and powerfully confronting during her 2010 work at the Museum of Modern Art in NYC. Pictured here, people would wait for hours for her to silently stare into their eyes for several uninterrupted minutes. The work was simple, direct and powerful — an act of human connection in a city that prioritizes communication and transaction over conversation and connection. It is critical to consider this basic, yet largely overlooked, human need and what conditions facilitate meaningful conversation and connection. When was the last time you had a great conversation or felt a deep human connection? In this often impersonal, electronic age we should all strive to develop spaces, experiences and opportunities for meaningful conversations and connection.
While I agree that most great conversations take place “face to face,” some of the most profound conversations I have personally experienced actually took place on the telephone. I usually resist this particular form of contact. However, because of the rather international lifestyle we have chosen, I cannot escape it entirely. Because there are no visual cues, I find I have to listen with greater intensity on the phone. Perhaps that has led to my sense of connection on some of those challenging converstions.